


the girl behid the mirror

by Ru412doflan



Category: Yandere Simulator (Video Game)
Genre: Best Friends, Childhood Memories, Drama & Romance, F/F, F/M, Family, Friendship, High School, Hurt/Comfort, Murderers, Orphanage, Psychopath, Sad with a Happy Ending, Secret Identity, Sex
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-01-24
Updated: 2019-02-18
Packaged: 2019-10-15 13:16:48
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 5
Words: 5,493
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17529437
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ru412doflan/pseuds/Ru412doflan
Summary: Ayano wasn't a normal girl, but that doesn't mean she is broken





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> hey i hpe you liked it and i want to say that i will added tags eventually

_I remember when I was just a little girl and my mother used to tell me bed time stories about love._

_She always told me about the one, the prince charming, the savior, the only person who can complete me and being happy just like her and father. I never believed her, but I couldn’t tell her she is always so happy, and kind and nice with everyone she is everything I am not._

_She told me when you grow up you will understand and my father gets sick every time I talk to her. _

_My father is very different from my mother he doesn’t like when my mother talks about love. He is always so kind to me bringing me a lot of gifts every girl would love and taking care of my health a lot always taking me to every hospital he could for my strange sickness he said have, he seems to be the perfect father I only would change his face always scary when he look at me._

_I always thought I was a broken doll incapable of any kind of feeling, I wasn’t kind and nice like my mother or afraid of everything like my father I was nothing just an empty bottle just waiting to have something inside._

_I wasn’t like the kids in my school either, they laugh about jokes or nasty words but not me, they are afraid of bees when they are inside the classroom they wanted the toys my father gave me._

_I remember a lot of girls calling me bad names like monster or saying I smell rotten they say I am ugly and that’s the reason nobody likes me, eventually people starts to touch me, they push me, hit me, and throwing rocks at me, but I didn’t care._

 

 

_The great bomb exploded when I was nine, I always watched a lot of people hugging and kissing on the cheek, or holding hands while their crossing the street, so I want to try it. When my parents came to pick me up I hugged my dad, just to feel the sensation, and for a second it feels warm but then my mother punch me in the face with an angry look, my father was petrified for a few minutes, when he realized my mother was still hitting on me, he was trying to calm my mother, because we were on the street and even if they were late and no one was around them she still can get caught and for my family that would be a problem._

 

_After that incident they decided I was old enough to go home alone, that means I am alone enough to go to school alone too. The next morning when I came back with a black eye I heard the teachers whisper behind my back._

_ It seems like she was bullying someone again. _

_Yeah the other kid was just defending himself_

_The only good thing it came out it was now my neighbor let me stay in his house for a while but only if he was all alone. If there’s someone else he hits me too and he was always with someone he said I was his secret friend. Those things never matter to me, as my mom says I only feel pain when I found my one true love. But somehow I always was tired, I didn’t want to go to school or be in home and my secret friend was almost always with his parents or with friends._

_But one day I found out the love my mother used to tell me more or less, I was alone in the park watching the kids in the playground when a girl with the same age as me with green eyes and green hair in two pigtails come to me and say_

_ Hi I’m midori, ¿do you want to play with me? ¿Are we friends now? ¿Do you like cartoons? ¿what is your favorite cartoon? I love cartoons, and games ¿what is your favorite game?  _

_The girl was nonstop talking, making me questions about everything, I couldn’t handle it no one ever has interested in me I tried to talk with her, but she didn’t gave me time to talk._

_I am ayano _

_Those three words create a new life for me, a freedom that I thought inexistent but this is for another moment. She hold my hand and we start to play some game she invented, something inside of me it’s different I don’t know what that is but I don’t want to stop it._

_We were playing even if it was late, even if the others kids were picked up by their parents, but when we were start to be hungry she said I am hungry ¿do you want a burger with me in the restaurant that is in the corner? That’s when I made my first crime; we both haven’t money so after eating the best burger I ever eat we left the restaurant running without pay. _

_I remember the owners getting mad and follow us for a short time, their faces were red and if I have to put a name on their feeling I would say angry. I don’t know what midori was thinking or why she wanted to be my friend or if I have to tell to my parents but now I know someone doesn’t hurt me and she is nice a different type of nice my mother is, and she told me that now I am her friend. I don’t know what a normal friend is or how to act but for a while I wasn’t tired and I feel something inside of me so for the first time in my life I can say that I am not broken and I can say I have a real friend and that’s the better thing that ever happened to me._


	2. Chapter 2

_After that day midori and I started to spend time together well, we mostly play together at the recess away from the other kids._

_Midori didn’t like the other kids either, she said those kids were mean, she didn’t like those mean word towards her or some jokes ended up make her cry._

 

_In those moments there was something in my chest, a kind of weight where my heart should be and my mind was blocked, there was no word, move or sound I could do. When my mind starts to process again there wasn’t any good idea to come out._

_I thought of everything I could do, I thought of everyone words when I told this and the answers were always they’re just jealous darling, if you ignore them they will leave you eventually or even you shouldn’t pick up fights it will cause you troubles._

_It never matter to me anyway, I couldn’t feel the pain in those words, it feels when those kids who somehow know karate hits me or they pull my hair, I could feel wet when they push me in front the fountain but it never matter because it was just temporary pain and eventually those bruises didn’t hurt anymore. But for midori that matter to her somehow I couldn’t understand it may be cause I deal with it almost every day or because midori is everything I am not she is active, she gets excited she get the jokes she can laugh, she is everything I am not, but now she is crying and she seems sad ¿those were the consequences of having feelings? I didn’t knew back then I guess I know now but I am never sure._

_I only could watch could watch midori hugging herself with her eyes about to cry. So I do the only thing I learned the only thing I knew it for help her._

_I grabbed her hands, look deeply inside her crying eyes and with my monotone voice I said you are my friend midori. It wasn’t much but it was the only thing I could do, and the weight disappear   _

_Suddenly she hugged me I was shock, no one ever show me this kind of contact, well without anyone beating me after these contact, it was warmer than when I hugged my father and better. Awkwardly I hugged her back and that was the best thing that ever happened in my young age and it would be perfect if midori wasn’t leaving my t-shirt full of her boogers._

_The day pass as usual without any other midori moments and as usual thing I walk home alone I couldn’t ask modori to walk together because we live in opposites directions and she already told me his parents were very strict with her schedule._

_When I arrived home I went straight to my room, I knew my parents weren’t home in another 20 minutes, they told me something of make extra job._

_The first thing I always did when I came home was homework, I heard the other kids from school complaining about how hard homework is or how it should be forbidden for everyone, but I didn’t care to make some extra work, it was less time dealing with mother and father feelings, it was uncomfortable at least for their side, mother always wanted father attention and making him everything she thought it was what he wanted or jus forcing him to do whatever she wanted to do._

_It was better dealing with math problems, it might sound weird because I never had any other preferences but math are always the simplest thing I have to deal with, all math problems always has answer, the numbers didn’t have any complex  of how to deal with it was the easier thing in my life._

_When I finished my homework I went downstairs and watch TV, like a normal kid should do, but the TV series midori recommended me was unrealistic full of magic and spells, so I decided to watch a romantic movie, this one was one of mother and father watch together a lot of times, I didn’t remember the title but it was so easy to know what would happen next boy meets girl, girl meet boy they fall in love and somehow the girl leaves some job to be with the boy who barely meets._

_Mother always was in a better mood after watching those movies with father and remembering good old days and father always agree with a sick face but for some reason they always watch together that dvd._

_When my parents arrived it was almost dinner time and I didn’t end to watch the movie it was almost at the ending and I needed to know the end and understand the feeling that is waiting for me in future years._

_Father was mad when he saw me watching that movie, he said I was too young and I needed to watch something according to my age. When he gently takes the control remote our hands and mother has that face she always wears when I am near father._

_She pushes me away far from father, every time things like that happens my dad gets terrified and my mother starts to talk nonsenses_

_“Stay away from him”_

_“r..ryoba calm down she is our daughter”_

_“Mine, my sempai”_

_“ryoba I am here, ok now calm down, please”_

_“Sempai”_

_I never understood it, sometimes I thought mother has some kind of mental sickness, but ¿how could I know? It was me the one who always were to doctors, it was me the monster unable to feel so maybe I was doing wrong things and it was the only way to understand those mistakes._

_But I wanted to understand, so the only thing I could do is grab the dvd and went to my secret friend house while my parents were arguing._

_My secret friend was a normal kid who lives a few houses towards me, he used to bully me but one day when a kid with black hair and a huge fan of karate decides to fight me, because one of her friends told him that I was mean with her in class and since she couldn’t defend herself, he asked for help._

_After that day he decides to tolerate me and I was even able to go to his house once in a while, but the other kid always decided to listen everyone else petition on fight against me the monster._

_Sorry I lost in my memories, I was saying my secret friend lives a few houses towards me; my secret friend has black curly hair that covers an eye. His eyes are red blood and his skin was pale as was mine._

_That night I saw the ending of the movie, and as I suspected they got married and they live happy ever after, but something was wrong, with the movie or maybe with me, because that was love, that was the feeling I am supposed to feel when I grew older but if that is love, if is what father and mother are I don’t want it even if I don’t get any emotions for the rest of my life I don’t want to._

_That night I made a promise that now I cannot remember._

 

 


	3. Chapter 3

_A few weeks later my secret friend moved, he said his father got a job in another country, I never met his family and I didn’t care, I just say bye to him and went back home. No tears, no gifts for remember me like his other friends or nice promises about writing letters, no, just goodbye._

_That same week the Saturday morning midori called home, that was something unusual, we usually just play at recess because of her parents. Good thing my parents weren’t this weekend they said something about a reunion in Saikou Corporation or something I wasn’t able to understand back then._

_Midori was talking about going to the arcade and spend the day there, she told me about new games and begging her to come with her, she tried to convince me letting know that she already know how to take the train and the subway, she already knew the street and she have her parents number if something happens to them._

_I agree, there was nothing else to do right now, or ever and her voice sound very happy I didn’t want to say no only for do nothing._

_We manage to go in the train station without any security or no adult asking why two little girls were alone in the station, it might be because the adults were stuck on his own mind or it might be because there is so much people that people didn’t watch us or it might be because we aren’t the only kids alone in the station there was a duet of other girls in the station and my eyes were trying to figure it out if the girls were stealing people’s wallet or playing sneaky._

_I thought to forget about those girls but when I turn around midori disappear, I looked everywhere, until I found out talking with those girls who seems extremely angry, I run and grab her hand, I told her with my normal voice about the arcade, but since midori was very insisted on knowing them we presented, those girls were reiko ryoko and nadeshiko kinomoto_

_Reiko has our age but she was very short, with orange-amber eyes and long ginger hair very messed up, and a pale skin and she is always mumbling with herself._

_And Nadeshiko even if she has our age she acted like an adult, she has very long red hair, her hair would reach her waist and her eyes were red too; her skin was paler than us like she never get touched by the sun._

_A group of police officers came and start to ask about nadeshiko and reiko with another adults, and some other adults realized their wallets or money just disappear and start to screaming to the officers to find those thieves and bring back his things. And those new girls we barely meet suddenly wanted to go with us. Midori was very happy, she said that it was fantastic to make new friends and of course I didn’t care. In the travel I get to know more about these two girls but a part of me was telling me on not to trust them they just needed us to go to the arcade and then we lost them, but I didn’t thought midori knew it she was so happy about those new friends of her and destroying everyone patients in the train was a surprise they actually wanted to spend the time with us when we arrived but mostly for nadeshiko because she textually said I can’t deal with your friend more than ten seconds_

_When the four of us arrived we started to play some games but mostly dance dance revolution and group games._

_While we were playing we saw another girl playing alone, she went to the same school midori and I were, she was well known for having the bests grades and reading books all the time. And of course midori, who hasn’t learn the lesson of never talk to strangers she went straight to the girl named kuudere and invite her to play with us._

_Kuudere was a girl with blue short hair and red eyes, she looks very uncomfortable to be with us, and it seems afraid to talk with us but midori didn’t saw it. But when we let her go to order some drinks she was afraid to the waiter too and unable to speak well so we just ignore that fact and spend the day together playing some stupid games that I always loose._

_That day was unpredictable, without thinking what I was doing or where I was going but, I feel something, something I never felt or if it was some gases from the soda, but from those moments I feel less empty that I was._


	4. Chapter 4

_Time pass and the bond between me and those four girls became stronger; we spend a lot of time together and now not only in recess time, but I have to be careful with mother and father, father became very protective with time and he was skeptical with everything around me, since the tv shows we watch together, the people who is around me, the clothes I wear and even the bathroom time._

_Mother was nice, she is always nice to me when we were alone she taught me a lot of things like cooking playing piano and violin every afternoon while father was working she even taught me how to clean properly, clean the floor, the windows, ho to clean blood or fingerprints._

_But when father came the history changed, mother was very devoted to father and how insisting she always said their love was the most beautiful thing in the world, but that means to me to get ready for getting punch, stroke or even have some cuts. And like mother was the smartest one and a great actress too, when we were the three of us mother was a loving and a caring mother and she doesn’t hurt me in front of father, now she only did it when father is sleeping so he couldn’t hear it._

_It was worth it was all worth it or that’s what I thought, it was worth it because I don’t was all empty my new friends make me new feelings like confusion, joy, happiness and confidence with them._

_I started to talk with them from my house life; I talked with them about my mother and father and about all the kids in my class did to me but I didn’t told them everything just little things and changing a lot of things in the history. They say I was overreacting that everyone has his own problems and it was normal to my father to take care of me and my mother being strict, they told me that it was because they love me._

_I didn’t want to start an argument or say something I could regret or maybe because in those days believed in them more than I could expect. So as long I have them I can manage everything and it all is all right._

_But that bottle of feelings I started to have was broken for the first time a few years later by one of the people I was trusting._

_Some rumors started to fluid all around the school, normally it didn’t matter to me but those rumors involved me and my friends so I needed to know was all about those problems because know my friends were in the eye of all those bullies. I went to talk with a few people, but everyone is mad at me and insults me or just ignores me either way that wasn’t useful for me so I came directly with my friends and ask them about all those troubles._

_They were mad at me and that made me a new and bad feeling that I never thought I could have._

_They yell at me, they told me how bad friend I was; I asked them what the problem was, but that made them angrier that they were._

_They keep yelling at me asking me how could I do that to them or I need to apologize properly or even telling me they don’t want me to be their friend._

_I apologized to them for something I didn’t even knew I begged them to still be my friends and I would do anything to forgive me. When they were glad with those apologies they told me that I started a lot of rumors and I say awful things in her back and some of them were even on the internet. They told me how their life is ruined thanks to me and how even I apologize we could never be friends again._

_That was when my heart got broken for the first time; I always thought a heart will only broke when I fall in love and I wouldn’t be able to keep it, now I know some people will hurt you because they’re just mean._

_I was alone again, the bully was intensified, and the teachers got an excuse to blame me of everything and get detention all the times, I lost my friends who are now my bullies too, I couldn’t blame them in those days, I didn’t blame them I didn’t blame no one because the blame was mine, I put that stranger in that position, and it was because I didn’t listen to my mother of those feelings I had._

_One night I listen my father complaining about how I wasn’t normal, how afraid he was of me and how he would love a normal girl, I wasn’t naïve and I always thought of how to be normal, how to get my friends back. I didn’t want father upset he didn’t know I ever had friends a lot because of mother and I didn’t care for the bully so there was no need to tell, that’s how I decided to start acting like a normal girl around father and asking all those things that were popular even if those were stealing by those bullies and at least keep my father happy even if it was for a little._

_A few months later it was discovered that it was kuudere the one who made those rumors and even put some on the internet._

_I wasn’t shock or surprise as any other would feel I was sad because it was my friend and I trusted her, she never really apologized she was only forced to do it.  I didn’t knew why she did it or why all the other people that was involved never apologized with me. But that doesn’t matter it didn’t matter then it doesn’t matter now, the only one who was deeply sorry was a guy a year older than me, it was the same guy who my secret friend protected me back then, he said he was truly sorry, that he always heard what others say and he didn’t stop and thinking for himself of what was good or what was evil, he said that he would be a real hero and he would be my friend._

_That is how a very energetic kid named budo masuta started to hang out with me everywhere, and when I mean everywhere I mean he came to pick me up for school, he left me at home even if he live in the opposite direction and it took an hour came to my house, he even followed me when I need to use bathroom of course he was waiting in the door until I was done. He was non stopping to give me hugs or wanting to carrying my books or something like that. And with that I started to have another feeling appreciation._

_But there is something inside of me, something inside of me a little voice in my head that tells me awful things every time like I am a monster unloved and everyone is right to hate me, that budo only treats me right because he feels pity of me, or how by my own mistakes I lost all my friends and those feelings I started to had._

_Back in those days I only wanted some time for myself, now I don’t know if that was the best idea._


	5. Chapter 5

_Budo was a great guy, when I met him, but I always knew that it was a liar, because no matter what he said or do of he truly being my friend and being a real hero, the truth is he had pity for me and no matter what he said about he was my friend or how much he pretends to take care of me, but I couldn’t stand to be around him anymore lying to my face and then stab in the back with their friends, so I made the best thing I can do I pretend to be normal around school too, that makes a domino effect, I pretend to be like any other girl and that’s makes other normal people comes to me, I pretend to care, I pretend to have empathy, I pretend to have hobbies._

_Now pretending was not only in my house, but in my school too, and I was pretending almost all the time, living without purpose, just waiting forward to the true love mother said I will get._

_Some years come by and everyday was the same as before, the only change was the relationship we had with the saikou family, some nights we need to dinner with them, while mother and father talk about business while I was dealing with their son and daughter, nothing special they just hate me for some reason._

_Any way my life changed when I was fourteen years old, one day I was tired of being lonely and see how everyone could have different emotions around me, when I was pretending people around me was nicer and I wasn’t the monster anymore and father was so relieve. But it was a lie and I was tired of that lie, unable to have real feelings, just sporadic moments, but lying everyone around me because I want a civil treatment, but I remembered when I was younger some people accepted me for who I was a long time ago, I expected whished about someone else could accepted me without pretending, so one day after school instead of going straight home I took a different route, at first I knew the streets and I already knew how went back home any moment I wanted, but I thought of prove myself or that is what I told myself honestly I wanted to know the truth beyond the lies I created myself, so I went far far away, so far that I wasn’t able to recognize the streets or know the names._

_I walked for hours, but I already knew all the streets and corners around, so I keep walking until I went to the train station._

_A part of me was saying turn around and keep walking, but a little voice inside my head was telling me to throw myself in the railroad and end my pathetic life._

_I really thought of it, but I made this travel to have any real feelings or emotions and end it all now, it would be a shame end it all without knowing another feelings or have them._

_I put very close behind an older woman and when she crosses the security I cross with her too ignoring the security. I couldn’t went back now, I haven’t money or I couldn’t turn back because the security, I could always call my parents and came to pick me up, but it will destroy everything I went for, now I have another feelings, I was afraid for the first time, and I didn’t even know why I was I was just having feelings again I wasn’t turning back now._

_I get on the train, and after the first stop I realize, I was lost, I was alone without compass or map to help me to guide me, I had no one else to ask your questions, everyone was so obsessed with their own things and they seems intimidating._

_I was alone, I always was, but now I realized how lonely I was until now, because of  who was I and the monster I was._

_Now people would get off at the next stop would call their parents and they would pick them up, but I didn’t do that, I was tired and when I sit I fell asleep, I was far away from home when I woke up, I get off in Hamabe town, it was a town near to the beach, the train station looks the same, but the town was totally different._

_Now I was alone in another town, without money, who knows how many kilometers away from home, but this is what I wanted and I wasn’t turn back now._

_At first it was strange, I have never been in that town before, I’ve never been able to spoke to those people and know if they are enemies or neutral around me. I walk hours, until the night arrive and my legs hurt for walking hours, but I already know the streets and some places, the place is beautiful and it was full of good smell everywhere, one of those smells made me end up in a bar._

_The place was full with drunken people talking nonsense, but the smell of the food was so wonderful and my stomach was so empty that I was able to survive in a drunken bar just for some of the wonderful plates that I smelled._

_Curiosity in that place I met my two best friends since today taki sakiko and tsuyo yume, two girls two years older than me, and they were the most amazing people that I’ve ever met._

_Taki is a girl with a long blond hair with green eyes, she was and still is a naïve girl and kind of dumb, and very attractive, now this is so cliché a blond girl numb, but I know here and I know she is a lot of things and one of them is being a girl with the biggest heart I’ve ever met, the girl who show the bright side of any situations._

_And Tsuyoi is another girl, but she has a long curly brown hair and brown eyes, she is terrifying, she is manipulative, smart, everyone love her and is scared of her at the same time, but with time I learned that even if she can destroy some lives, she is able to protect the people she takes care of._

_When I met them in the bar, they allow me to sit at their table, we started to talk, and well mostly they are having a conversations and I barely talk. When the food arrived they even paid me for a plate. And when it was late night Taki take me home. Both of them were great girls, they gave me their emails for keep the contact._

_When I arrived home things were normal, mother was watching a movie and she was just h ello dear I hope you had a great day and father was working with his computer like nothing happened I was like _

_“ hello, your only daughter has been gone for all day without making any phone call, and you are okay with this”_

_I couldn’t believe it, that night for the first time I realized that I have feelings, but no one told me how painful can it be sometimes_


End file.
